Mule

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.

I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

The phone beeps, we check it. We see a craftily triggering thumbnail so we click. We don’t respond-we are conditioned to react. Over and over again.

Do we treat people this way? We are not our thoughts - thoughts just happen. Feelings aren’t valid or invalid - they just happen. But when we are so conditioned to react we are controlled by them. We lose our ability to hold thoughts and feelings at arms length and decide, “Who do I want to be? What’s the priority here despite thoughts and feelings that come up?” When we lose that awareness we trust a brain that lies to us to keep us comfortable and feelings that can change depending on what we had for lunch. We react too quickly to question ourselves and empathize - “see our feelings in others” - with people. We justify and identify with thoughts and actions that push us farther away from what we want. Having difficult conversations and accepting influence from others is treated like a threat to the thing that we’ve made the most important thing in the world - Me And How I Think and Feel.

There’s a John Lennon quote, “Livin’ is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see”. You might think this sort of internal-work talk is for people “who are into that sort of stuff”. But just because you didn’t know you threw away a winning lottery ticket doesn’t mean it didn’t cost you a fortune.
Sure you can feel just fine while doing no internal work on yourself and your relationships - but you’ll be unaware someone in your life is suffering while trying to do your work for you. They’re trying to shoulder their own baggage and yours and it won’t work. It will cost you and them.

My friends, this is not the way. We need to stop pretending we’re not in the same boat just because we decided not to row. The boat is sinking and this internal change is where real change happens. Be leaders daily. We’re moving forward or falling behind. There is no staying. Daily practicing skills so we aren’t controlled by our impulses and can make the healthiest actions despite how we think and feel moment to moment. We can teach ourselves to empathize with others if we make the space for it.

Matt